When you see an argument arising between your kids and your spouse, or if friction begins to arise between friends or other family members do you have a habit of trying to jump in and smooth things over in some way?
I get it! I get it better then you may imagine! (wink, wink)
So, you probably think of yourself as striving for the greater good, having peace in your relationships and family- that’s your goal!
But, here’s the clencher:
Your effort to bypass arguing among your family sometimes CREATES more arguing. Your spouse or other family members don’t want you to step in. Even if they’re headed down a path which looks completely disastrous to you, they do not want your help, advice, gentle guidance, understanding or even a peep out of you. They want to play it out THEIR way- not yours.
So, what do you do?
You try the best you can to LET GO!
Let the argument go, let it grow into chaos, if you have to block your ears, step out of the house, separate yourself.
Because the people involved need to figure this out themselves. And, by the way, take solace in the fact that you can share advice or guidance at another time, but in the heat of the moment LET GO! We never learn our own lessons if someone keeps stepping in. You have a heart of gold to want things to be more harmonious for everyone, but harmony at all times is not possible. So, embrace this idea and let go. Let both arguing parties “do their thing”! And later, when the time is right, ask them if they would like to talk.
I assure you, they will be more apt to change and improve the situation if they get a chance to really get into it themselves- you know, get down and dirty with the other person!
**By the way, let me add a disclaimer here- if physicality is involved of course you don’t turn the other cheek, but we’re talkin’ good ol’ fashion yelling and arguing here- nothing beyond!
Ok. I’m still working on letting go at times. I’ve grown enormously in this area, but guess what? I’m human and that old, “just let me help them make it better” side of me will still emerge at times.
Guess what I find happens when I succumb to the urge to step in and “help”- sometimes I make the situation better and sometimes I make it worse. And comparatively, guess what happens when I don’t step in? Sometimes the situation gets better and sometimes it gets worse!
So, the reality is, it really doesn’t make a difference if you step in, you just think it will! The bigger picture here is, you’re preventing lessons from being learned if you step in.
So lets all journey together and keep on steppin’ back and letting go!!
This week’s Upgrade Tip:
Look around to see where you can step out of the picture more and let go! Then have a go at it! And from there keep on tryin’!!!
I wish you well and as always, thanks for listening!
Anyone able to fully relate? How have you handled situations like this? What has worked? What hasn’t? I’d love to hear! Please post your comments so others may learn from you as well! Thanks so much for sharing!
Speaking of letting go, one of the greatest things a person can let go of is Negative Self Talk. Man, criticizing yourself is really stifling. It can hold you back from having a great relationship, it will affect your ability to be successful and you end up one too many times making yourself think you’re not good enough! This is so common, you are so NOT alone. If you’re ready to move through being critical of yourself and to finally see how wonderful you really are and, not only see it, but BELIEVE it, AND consistently function from this place, then join us! Join us for a F*ree phone seminar that will help you to rock your world of self criticism and open your eyes to how great you really are!
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**By the way, this seminar is definitely not your same old same old, myself and Caitlin Boyle owner and founder of Operation Beautiful and author of the Operation Beautiful book will be sharing a very unique and super successful approach to overcoming self criticism.
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