Last night my son Boden said to me, “I think my heart is saying I should sleep with you tonight.” I obliged. My answer to him was, “We better follow your heart”. I could have said 5 reasons why (from my head) it wasn’t a good idea, but, I didn’t go there. I didn’t even let those thoughts creep in… Now, being human, I’m prone to fall out of this state of living solely from my heart. Yup. I know I will follow my heart sometimes and other times my head will be guiding parts of my life. That’s ok, we’re all works in progress. As long as I let my heart lead most of time, I know my life will continue to become more and more beautiful.

Someone who’s very sick will often start living from their heart. The things they once worried about, those things they thought they NEEDED to DO or take care of; cleaning the yard, organizing their closets, waxing their eyebrows, losing those last 10 lbs, it now all seems trivial. It’s not that they don’t do these things, it’s just that they make them a much smaller priority. They begin to see life through a set of very clear lenses. Spending time with people they love- that takes precedence. Doing what they LOVE; travel, playing sports, painting, spending time outdoors… their time is filled with quality experiences, not whittled away with all sorts of to dos that take them AWAY from the important stuff, the things that add value to their lives.

By they way, at this point, if you feel like you’ve allowed yourself to be distracted from a lot of quality experiences, take heart, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Almost everyone has been there at times!

If you feel like you’d like to live as your confident awesome self and watch your life become easier, you’ll want to start taking steps to follow your heart and skip letting your brain be your life’s compass. Your brain (while a very important beautiful organ), can take you off course and have you doing things that keep you feeling down about yourself. But, your heart will show you what will lift your spirits, feel more at ease in your skin, and have you feeling great about yourself no matter how you look!!!

How can you live with your heart leading your choices?

1. Notice what your body feels like before you make decisions to do something. Do you get a funny, uncomfortable feeling in your stomach before you decide to be on another volunteer committee? Or does your heart feel light and excited. If you feel even the slightest bit excited, feeling light and at ease, that’s your heart/intuition telling you YES!! This is good for you. If you feel heavy or uncomfortable, that’s your heart/intuition telling you NO, this is not good for you, it will only take you more off track from feeling good.

Ok. If you’re willing have a go at this, before you make decisions, slow down, and notice your body. Watch, look and listen for your body’s response. Here-in lies your true answers, the ones that will allow you to live a confident, empowered AWESOME life!

Happy New Year! Happy New and Upgraded You!

With warmth and strength,

Andrea!

PS Have a story to tell about a time you followed your heart and not your to do list? Or if this is something you’re still working on, would love to hear where you’re at. I invite you to share your insights and thoughts, below in the comments section!

PSS Would you like a gift to get you started with living your best life possible? A life full of genuine happiness & confidence? A life where you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel GREAT with what you see reflected back? I have 5 f*ree Dare to Be You audio tips you can register to receive- now.

Sound good? I welcome you to sign up here!

Stress can easily become the theme during the holidays, and when this happens you can be extra critical of yourself. Noticing only what’s going wrong versus what’s actually going really well. Noticing where you’ve made a mistake- forgot a gift, didn’t send someone a holiday card, ate too much junk at a party, said the ‘wrong’ thing to someone at a party…

When you notice yourself feeling stressed and beginning to go into self critical mode STOP and follow these few simple steps:

1. Take a few deep breathes
2. Remind yourself of something that is going well, something you feel good about with respect to preparing for the holidays- make sure to say this out loud.
3. Next, begin drinking lots clean filtered or spring water (especially warm water) with lemon in it

Warm water with lemon in it is VERY cleansing. When you’re feeling stressed and starting to criticize yourself it’s a sign to slow down, take better care of yourself and begin cleaning out your old thoughts that keep you thinking negatively. One of the easiest ways to begin clearing out old thoughts is by cleaning up your body.

Water with lemon is very cleansing to your body and your thoughts. Drink several glasses a day for at least 3 days (or more if you’re willing.)

Flushing out your body will definitely begin flushing out your old stressful, self critical thoughts.

There are many other ways to cleanse your body and thoughts which I will be sharing over the next few weeks, for now, if you’re willing just try this simple approach.

I myself am a HUGE water with lemon drinker and yes, right now as I’m heading into the holidays, I’m drinking water with lemon non-stop, I want to feel good about myself and think warm loving thoughts throughout this holiday. I welcome you to join me, have a go at this lemon water thing and watch how it begins to make a difference!

For those of you who give it a try, I invite you to post your stories and outcomes here, would love to hear what’s happening.

Would you like a gift to get you started with living your best life possible? A life full of genuine happiness & confidence? A life where you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel GREAT with what you see reflected back? I have 5 f*ree Dare to Be You audio tips you can register to receive- now.

Sound good? I welcome you to sign up here!

Picture this: you, your son (or daughter), and a couple of your close family members outside clipping berries and leaves from bushes just hours before your Thanksgiving dinner is to be served. You feel relaxed, you’re laughing, breathing in fresh air, connecting with the people around you and really enjoying yourself.

Now, picture this: You’re outside on your own, clipping berries and leaves (to be used as decoration on your Thanksgiving table). You feel hurried and tired, trying to fit in one more thing before you take care of more Thanksgiving dinner details. You’re rushing to get back to the house because you know you have more to do.

My guess is you can relate to both scenarios, I know I can. I’m happy to say the first scenario depicts my personal experience this past Thanksgiving. But, above and beyond this point, the first scenario, is all about allowing others to support you. Accepting help from others and NOT trying to do everything yourself.

Accepting help from others is a GREAT way to grow your confidence, and begin to feel better about yourself.

How?

You see, most people have it backward (I know I did for quite sometime). They think, if you do it all yourself you’ll gain recognition from others, and approval- wow, look how wonderful that woman is, she just did all that herself!! (Sound familiar?)

The reality of this situation is this though- you end up tired, running yourself ragged, maybe getting sick, maybe overeating because you’re stressed, and, you have no free time to have fun because you dedicated all your time to taking care of this thing (or many things) all yourself.

Sound like a confidence booster? NOT!!!

So, the bottom line is this- if you want to grow your confidence and feel better about yourself, you need to go against that urge to be a one woman powerhouse and instead, allow yourself to reach out, ask for, and accept support.

I promise you, once you do, you’ll feel a load of weight lifted off your shoulders and just that alone is a serious confidence booster!

How to bring this into your personal life: Look around at your daily life. Where have you taken on too much? Where do you run yourself most ragged? Now, make a plan to get support. Reach out to your spouse, call a family member, a friend, someone who can help you ease your work load.

Good luck! Let me know how it turns out, I’d love to hear, I invite you to post your comments below! Thanks for sharing!

Would you like a gift to get you started with living your best life possible? A life full of genuine happiness & confidence? A life where you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel GREAT with what you see reflected back? I have 5 f*ree Dare to Be You audio tips you can register to receive- now.

Sound good? I welcome you to sign up here!

I use to strive to dot all my I’s and cross all my T’s.

What do I mean by that?

I use to strive to do everything perfectly. I thought that was the way you were “suppose” to do things!

Your life is not best served if you too are striving to dot all your I’s and cross all your T’s. It’s time to color outside the lines and learn to be okay with that.

Guess what? If you’re striving for perfection you’re not being REAL.

The BEST, absolute most important thing you can do to in this lifetime to boost your confidence is to NOT strive for perfection, to not hold yourself to such high friggin’ standards that you beat yourself up when you can’t reach them. No way Jose!

And, as we all know, beating yourself up only dismantles your confidence, not add to it!

Instead, you want to begin to realign your intention for yourself- perfection in the garbage- ditch it!!

By the way, holding onto reaching for perfection will only cause your self esteem to falter even more. Think about it. When you try to create something that’s perfect; a project at home, at work, school, a special event… whatever it may be- you tend to gauge yourself based on everything being done just right, no ‘mistakes’. If you do something wrong- God forbid- you then drill into yourself for making what probably was a minor mistake. Would you treat your best friend this way? I hope not. And, I’m guessing probably not. So, skip treating yourself this way too!

This week’s Confidence Upgrade:

Find 1-2 places in your life where you try to have everything look or be “just right”. Notice it, acknowledge it to yourself, and then lower your standards. Yup, you read that right- lower your standards! Remember your goal is to sincerely love yourself more, in order to do this you have to allow yourself to expect things to be off sometimes and most importantly, you want to begin to cultivate grace for yourself. You want to do things less then perfectly and recognize and go as far as to say to yourself- good job- you’re still wonderful, I love you AND, I appreciate you for being REAL!

Yes this is the goal, to “mess things up” and still feel good about yourself- to love yourself anyway!

Have fun lowering your standards! Wink, wink!

As always, thank you for your interest.

By the way, I’d love to hear from those of you who have also strived for perfection. Where did it show up in your life. Have you ever tried to let it go before. Where are you at with it now? I invite you to post your comments! Thanks so much for sharing!

Would you like a gift to get you started with living your best life possible? A life full of genuine happiness & confidence? A life where you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel GREAT with what you see reflected back? I have 5 f*ree Dare to Be You audio tips you can register to receive- now.

Sound good? I welcome you to sign up here!

Ever had an experience where you felt like people where analyzing and criticizing what you’re up to. At work: maybe co-workers criticized a mistake you made. At home, perhaps your spouse is quick to show you exactly what he or she thinks is wrong with what you do! Or maybe it’s a sibling, they see what you do as wrong instead of seeing what you do as wonderful!

Well, in any of these instances, the key is to focus on the truth first. Are you really and truly a bad person because you made a little mistake? Are you as bad as your spouse might have you think you are at times? The honest Truth is NO. Absolutely not! Think about it. Go into this thought for a few minutes. Are you a bad person or a good person?

By the way if you are questioning this- You are innately a GOOD person!

Find 5 examples of where you’ve been a good person in your life. Dig, keep going until you find at least 5 situations that exemplify your goodness. Really think about each situation.

Now, remind yourself of your Truth. You are a good person and probably a great person, so say this out loud. Really, say this out loud at least 10 times. Who cares if you feel silly, say it!!

Saying this out loud allows you to begin to feel this, and really integrate into your body that, yes indeed, you are a great person- regardless of others judgements!

Now, remember, the next time you’re in the company of someone who’s criticizing you, try hard not to take it to heart, and if need be, walk yourself through these steps again. This approach will help to keep your confidence up when things get tricky. Trust me, I know from personal experience! (Wink, wink!)

As always, thank you for listening.

By the way, I’d love to hear from those of you who have experienced someone being critical of you. Who was it and how did you handle it? I invite you to post your comments! Thanks so much for sharing!

Would you like a gift to get you started with living your best life possible? A life full of genuine happiness & confidence? A life where you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel GREAT with what you see reflected back? I have 5 f*ree Dare to Be You audio tips you can register to receive- now.

Sound good? I welcome you to sign up here!